So, I'm finally cleaning my studio and going through some old files and
envelops. First I find a photo of Jack when he was a brand new
kitten and I cried big fat tears of missing him. Then I find this . .
. My heart literally whispered "not that! Not that picture of Emily on
her first day if Kindergarten" -- one of the saddest and proudest days of my
life. Look at her. She is five and missing her first tooth and smiling
because she made it to school and they have a workbench with real tools
and nails. Emily is number three child and now she was in school with her big
brother and sister AND her classroom was the absolute coolest. This
first day of school was a simple two hour sample so the children
would know where to go and what to do. I left Em hammering at the
workbench. She did not cling like all, I'm sure all, the other kids did.
Their mothers comforting them with, "It will be okay, I'll be right
back, you'll see." I left the room and immediately sobbed -- those
dreadful, "Oh please don't let me do this in public" kind of snorting sobs.
I didn't know any of the normal moms leaving school and I
really didn't want to meet them. Instead I headed for the ice
cream shop a block away from school, waited until they opened at 9:00,
and ordered a Pralines and Cream in a dish. Yes, it did help. I was
better and walked to the branch library to look at the magazines and
before I knew it, it was time to pick-up Emily at school and our lives
continued to thrive within all the textures and colors of family love.
